You Do Not Need Approval (A MUST READ)

When a person feels like others around them are better than them they usually seek approval from the other, in other words they will try to fit in and look for acceptance from other people in a social group or social setting when around new people.

People will feel inferior in groups and it is quite common, the only thing here is that someone going out to make friends and get people to like them will end up using approval methods to be noticed or liked when they could have just appeared, been them self and simply sit back and relax, they could have spoken when they felt like it without worrying what others thought of them.

Approval seeking can be done in specific ways such as asking “can i please do this” or “i will buy you a drink” or “im so sorry, can i please ask you something”. Other include people giving compliments or gifts.  This is not to say there are lots of people out there that
do get on their knees and beg for friends but im just saying that if you are doing any of this please stop, take your self respect back and dont put anyone above yourself like this.

Instead of trying to fit in or get friends by giving them stuff or asking permission simply walk in and act like you know them or better yet sit with them and speak when you feel comfortable to speak. The best bit about approval seeking is that it can be very manipulative even if you don’t know it, it can be unconsciously manipulative for the better who do not know they are doing it. Bless them.

If you wish to have something such as a friend or partner stop walking in with the mindset they are better than you because they are not, no one is better than another. Your not better than them and they are not better than you. If you wish to be on a level playing field with others you must have that mindset from the beginning, if you walk in with a mindset of “they are better than me” you will always put them before you but also look for approval from them. Sometimes we as people do this for the most silly reasons such as winning someone over or getting something in return.

Approval seeking for getting something in return is almost like saying “can we trade?”, or in other cases “im not worthy of your presence so give me some approval”.

So remember know you are equal to others, no one is better than the other, simply accept them as just people. Next time you see that freaky, good looking or intimidating person dont put them higher or lower, accept them as a person and someone who does not control your decisions, you decide, seek your own approval by giving yourself permission, self-validate yourself this way. On that note do not let them see you are below them or afraid of them, if you wish to be lower than them you only encourage them to think they are much higher and better than you.

- Jay Rando