Widely respected Nollywood actor, Olu Jacobs in a recent interview with Dupe Ayinla-Olasunkanmi spoke at length about what has kept his union to veteran actress Joke Silva intact.
Read excerpt from the interview below:
Most celebrity marriages are quick to crash these days. What do you think is the secret of a lasting marriage like yours?
First of all, you need to be your spouse’s best friend. That is the only person you can have in your life, then others will follow. You cannot make a woman like yourself a friend. Because, once you begin to talk to them about what is bothering you, different advices come in. she has the power over you, she knows your secret. As a wife, your husband is your best friend. The moment he proposes and the woman accepts, he begins to think about the two of you and not about one person anymore. Anything he wants to do and anything she wants to do, both parties will have to consider the other person involved.
What advice would you give to young couples, especially those going through difficulties?
Marriage is an investment that takes a lot of time to yield: that is because you invest your time, energy, money and everything. And you have to be careful, because what suits you might not suit the other person. You have to weigh your own circumstance, and apply wisdom. You leave at seven in the morning and come back at night; you have to help each other out. When she is cooking and you are in there with her that is where you have time to communicate. That is where they remember all
they want to say. There is nothing that says a man cannot help out. It is God. There are other forces outside that you need to take cognizance of but when you do, you have to make sure that they don’t take control over your life. You don’t keep friends, because they will mislead you. And marriage is not something you can pull out of. You are in and you have to stay forever.
Has there been any time you felt like coming out of your marriage?
Like I said, you don’t get married to come out of it. The words; ‘for better for worse, for richer for poorer’ are not mere words. They are not said for nothing. When you enter into marriage, you don’t think of coming out of it. That is why some people cannot mentally recover from it again, because they keep thinking about it. And that is why you have to safeguard yourself. This can only be achieved by knowing the kind of friends you keep.
People will come to tell you stories, even if you find out it is true, you will be the one to deal with it and apply wisdom. As a married person, you are now thinking for two. You cannot take any independent decision because no decision you take should be for yourself alone. Communicating helps a lot, once you are talking, it solves a lot of things.
What is that thing that still keeps you attracted to your wife?
She has not let go. She has not let go her loving and charming self. She still makes her hair, does her make-up, dresses well and still looks beautiful. That is the staying power. I am her last mirror. My wife does not go out without my last comment. After dressing up and looking at herself in the mirror, she still believes in me. She turns to me and asks how she looks every time she has an event and I just look at her and tell her she is smashing.
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