Advice Me POB Readers: I love him, but still I date others...

I hate myself for what I do... Right now I am dating a boy I love and he loves me even more. We are making big plans about our future… having kids, family… There is a slight problem, though. I am dating three other men... One of them is my ex-boyfriend, the other one is my friend’s boyfriend, and the third one is just a friend... And it is not actually about the dating, but about the sex… I mean they all want to have more serious relationship with me, but I give them all false hopes... I don’t know, I have never thought I will be in such situation, but now it happened to me!!! I feel so bad when I date those three boys, but on the other hand, I need some change, don't I? I sometimes think… Do I really love this boy, and my heart tells me I do, but then what am I doing!!! And if he finds out, he will leave me. He told me: If I ever see you with another man or find out you are cheating on me, simply forget about me… I don’t know how I managed to hide it from him all this time, because I date the others right in front of him, I guess he trusts me very much... Some might think I am a whore or something similar, but I don’t think so, I would be a whore if I slept with all men that ever wanted to sleep with me... And I have only slept with four.

 I am so confused and I don’t know what to do. If I stop seeing my three secret friends, I think I will be very bored and I will always miss something, not that I don’t get it from my official boyfriend, but I am used to this and now… if I stop… I don’t know, I don’t know. I have no idea whether you will publish my letter, but if you do, I ask all readers to give me their opinion or at least an advice!!! ...Because I really don’t know what to do, I am so confused. I feel great with all of them, but at the same time I feel so bad for cheating on my boy!!! And when I sleep with the others I think… I hope he doesn’t find out this time… I have told him so much lies and what not...

Please give me some advice!!!